Paula Abdul is going to join the X-Factor. It’s hardly surprising when you think about it. She’s going to team up with her ‘nemesis’ Simon Cowell and try to retrieve some of their former ratings glory from their American Idol days. But why does Simon have to be such a total douche bag all the time? We spotted them at the Fox Upfronts and we wanted to punch him. Honestly. What’s with the nose pinching in these photos?

All we can say is that Paula must be making an s**t ton of money to put up with his wacky antics. Simon is not funny. He’s not attractive and we know he has zero charm. The only thing Simon has is a good ear and money. So seeing Cowell just standing there, holding her nose and looking smug is just infuriating. There’s really nothing else to say other than he’s a total douche and we hope Paula makes a lot of money. Like a LOT of money. Like if she was cold in her house, she could burn it, money. Or if she had to bury herself, the amount of money would be greater than the amount of shame lying around.