Katie Holmes stopped by Ellen DeGeneres’ show to chat up her miniseries The Kennedys . But as far as we were concerned, Holmes was there to explain why she let formerly innocent Suri Cruise eat those infamous penis-shaped gummies. Turns out – not surprisingly – Katie had a perfectly rational explanation for the whole thing that is so obvious and filled with common sense we’re not even going to go into it.

Here’s what we are going to get into: Katie Holmes cannot say “penis” out loud. When discussing the ordeal with Ellen, she referred to the candies as “boy part gummies” – which we possibly could have gone with; hell it’s a morning show, whatever. But when Ellen cruelly pressed Katie, asking “Boy part?” Holmes’ way around that dirty, putrid, foul little word was: “Well, p-e-n-i-s gummies.” And then later, “They’re called p-e-n-i-s gummies, and they look like it.”

Spelling gets you out of so many awkward social situations these days.