Lindsay Lohan Wants to Open Her Own Rehab Clinic
The countdown is closing in on Lindsay Lohan’s day of reckoning: she’s got less than six days before she has to surrender herself to authorities and begin her 90 days jail sentence. She’s also got to surrender to reality at that point, though it’s clear no one in the Lohan camp is going to do that until the very last minute. In fact, in today’s dose of laugh-until-you-split-your-pants humor, Dina Lohan has just told In Touch that Lindsay wants to start her own rehab clinic. You know, because she doesn’t have a problem, but she’s so smart and such an expert and so good at helping people that she’s clearly in a position to teach others how to conquer their addictions.
There’s been speculation about what Lindsay’s future will be like if she has to go to jail, and what impact it will have on her career. Dina said that Lindsay does have goals for the future, and they have nothing to do with acting.
“Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab center here (in Los Angeles) and a couple across the country to help other kids and celebs so they don’t fall through the cracks in this town,” Dina said. “She mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. She’s really growing up.” (via MSNBC)
If by “really growing up” Dina means “totally delusional with an I.Q. of 92,” then yep, Lindsay’s really growing up. But, can you imagine how much fun the Lindsay Lohan Rehab Center would be? They’d greet you at the door with a jack and coke (that’s lowercase coke… and not Jack Daniels); intake would involve some sort of injection of something fabulous, and group therapy would probably descend into doing lines and jello shots. Half the people we know would probably pick up an addiction just for an excuse to be admitted.
In other Lohan news, the folks over at the Sun have clearly been watching too much Cinemax. They’re claiming “fearsome lesbian gangs [are] desperate to get their hands on [Lindsay],” and a former inmate told them, “‘Women grab each other like animals when the guards aren’t looking. ‘” We’ll let you read the rest here.
