Jennifer Love Hewitt is one of those starlets you can’t help but feel badly for. She tries, bless her. She tries. But she never gets it quite right. Take the ensemble she put together for last night’s Twilight: Eclipse premiere. We’ll break it down for you, starting with the most flagrant style violation: the shoes. They are about three sizes too small – and clearly far too narrow – for J. Love’s feet. Only three of her right toes fit on the shoe without overhanging; only two on her left foot. In fact the toe box is so narrow that it gives the look of bulging bunions. We can’t even imagine how much it hurt her to walk. To top it off, only three of Hewitt’s toes are painted on her right foot – and only two on her left – in a shade that makes it look like the nails are dead. Just…. why?

Moving on up, you’ll notice the dramatic tan line where Jennifer’s ankles go from white to orange. Further north, you’ll find a similar effect going on with her wrists and hands. And the tips of her nails are patterned cheetah print. Hewitt’s also wearing body glitter which is a little ridiculous for anyone older than 16, but it’s really the least of her violations, so we’ll let it slide. Next time Jen, how about trying something like this?